Today was not a good day for me. I woke up late and got yelled out for missing a meeting. I’ve been pretty melancholy lately…not sure why. Its one of those deep sadnesses, the ones that come from a desire you have that for years you have felt powerless to do anything about…the kind that builds over time. It’s that sense inside me that things are not as they could or should be, both with myself and with the world. And what’s worse is when you have those kind of feelings and you trick yourself into thinking that only YOU can understand what you are going through, so you isolate yourself. Its that sadness I feel.
But yet I still hope in transformation. I changed today because I have an increased awareness of certain attitudes that are poisoning my thoughts and my emotions. My prayer for today is that I would remember why I’m alive, and would remember that I am constantly being set free from fixations, addictions, and attitudes that have enslaved me.