Sometimes I jsut want to write. I”m sitting in bed right now, probably should be going to sleep. Tommorrow is my day off, and I’m getting up at ten to go and do some “pastor” stuff. There is a couple that wants to redo their wedding vows. I’m not really sure how a guy is supposed to do that, but I’m imagining that there’s no real formula to it. Just let them say their promises to each other, read some Bible, and pray with them.
So here I am, sitting in bed, restless, and its times like these that I just want to write. Maybe its because i”m facing a major transition in life. I’m about to take my first full-time job. Here in a few weeks, I will be on staff at Christ’s Church of the Valley. Sure, I’ve been an intern for a year, and I basically know what it looks like, but this will be the first time I’ve ever been “legit.”
I’m not afriad. I know that you are supposed to play the humility game and feel like you’re “not ready” when it comes to stuff like this, but as weird as it sounds, I think I am ready. I’m ready to pursue my passion in the context of a vocation. I’m ready to faithfully steward the influence that God has given me and use it to change the world. I’m ready to speak Christ into teenagers lives, and live Christ for them to emulate. I’m ready to devote myself to prayer, on my knees asking God where he would take my life, our church, and the lives of the hundreds of students under my care.
I’m ready to be a man, and not just a boy. I’m ready to pay my own bills and taxes, I’m ready to have the guts to win the girl over, and I’m ready to furiuosly embrace each day, unafraid of trying anything new.
So I think right now in my life is a transition point, and maybe that’s why I need to write this blog, so that I could get some of these thoughts out. Sometimes I get lost navigating the waters of life and need therapeutic writing to express myself.
I’m still going. Is this blog entry ever going to end?
I’ll end with a prayer:
God, give me eyes to see where you want me to go and who you want me to be. Give me an attentive spirit, so that I can learn and pick up on everything you are trying to teach me about every situation, about myself, and about life. I want to speak with you and be connected to you on a regular basis. Thank you for everything you’ve given me, including air to breathe and keep me alive. Give me wisdom as I make this decision whether to stay or go, and help me to discern what is best. Thanks for all you are to me, for all you’ve done for me. You are the ultimate champ. Thanks for giving me life.