I’m chasing after more in this life, but it seems like the older I get, I end up with less, not more. Less faith, less Through all the praying, striving, thinking, working, it seems like regression, not progression. I’m at that place where the life I’m living is kind of a cheap parody of the dreams I’m dreaming.
We just got back from Mexico, and I was just wiped. Yesterday afternoon, I camped out in my apartment, finally finding some time to rest after putting all of our equipment from the trip away. I was watching Lord of the Rings, phasing in and out of sleep. There’s a scene that completely captures the reason why so much of me desires more.
Aragorn is in the kingdom of Rohan talking to Eowyn what her greatest fear is. She replies: “A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire.”
My greatest fear is mediocrity… which is what compels me to want more. More risk, more sacrifice, more passion and purpose, more freedom, more God, more life, more enjoyment. But I think the more that I want more than anything else is to be free from wanting more… to be satisfied. To be content.
Several thousand years ago, a king who, despite all the difficult things that happened to him, found what I’m looking for. He wrote down these words which eventually would become the 23rd Psalm in the Bible: “the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”