I get a thousand opinions from people about what I should do with my life.
“Are you looking for another church to be a part of?”
“What are you looking to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t you want to figure out what you want to do with your life?”
“I don’t know.”
I think that there comes a point in most people’s life where no longer can they rely on everyone else to take care of them and make decisions for them. Not saying that you shouldn’t seek out the advice of people you respect, but ultimately you know what is in your heart. You are the one who has to live with your decisions… so you are the one who has to make them. And when you do make them, the people that really care about you will come around you and support you.
Its a lonely place to be sometimes… where you feel like no one else cares or understands the choice you are trying to make, or the season of life you are going through. All you can do is get down on your knees and hope that God exists as you pray… God who sees all things… to give you wisdom and providence.
I’m not sure what the next several years of my life will bring. I’m not sure what the next couple months will bring… as a matter of fact, the next fews days are a bit unclear as well.
I’m praying for a miracle to happen: for me to find purpose and meaning in life. For me to finally reach a place of contentment, of peace and passion… the place where satisfaction with life and with God mixes beautifully with striving to accomplish all that I was created to for the Kingdom of God.
There are more questions than answers, more mysteries than clues, more longing than pleasure, more criticism than support, and more waiting than progress.