I’m the only one getting in my own way. I’m tired of choosing to think about negative things and to see life through the lens of my problems and struggles. I used to think that my haunting instinct that there is this amazing and fulfilling life that is out there, somewhere and I have to go find it, but now I know that that instinct is wrong. That life is available here and now… I just need to take hold of it.
So from this moment on I’m choosing joy. I’m choosing to embrace everything around me that is good, true, beautiful, right, just, and pure and I’m embracing those things and focusing on those things, especially during times where I’m not “happy.”
Joy isn’t something that you just happen upon. Its something that has been available to you all along, but every moment is a decision to choose to live in that joy or to allow your negativity, insecurity, frustration, fear or disappointments to rob you of that joy that’s available to you. I believe that God has put me in a specific neighborhood and a specific network of relationships for a reason, and there are people in need of love, tasks in need of leadership, communities in need of examples to follow. I’m done following my own pursuits and passions and desires… I want to live in God’s pursuits, passions, and desires. My view of my life is so limited, but God sees all. All I have to do is choose to ‘take hold’ of the life that he wants me to live.
“Some have wandered away from the faith and have pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God… Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” 1 Tim. 6:12